baq 2 blog

been quite some time since i've blogged.... in sch now.. having 3 hrs break... wth.... :(

ok.. here's my updates on what had happened recenty..
nt very gd mood these few days... irritated wif home, some ppl, myself n myself still.

home - still the same old probx here n there. irritating. hope that things will b better but never will it seem 2 improve at all. this is nt call a home.. battle ring. cold wars. life have been sucky ever since dad left. sick.. really sick! accomodating n compromising seems 2 b fruitless now. wat to do tell me?? i wan 2 leave tis home. SICK!

some ppl - PLZ DUN TELL ME HOW I SHOULD TREAT PPL I HATE! coz u din noe wat i went thru. when i treat her like afren n wat did i get in the end?? lies all lies ! CRAP! n PHOBIA!!!... tats wat i have to say!

myself - baq 2 square again. i juz cannot move on wif phobia of losing again. so many battles i've fought n yet it nvr seem 2 me tat i've manage 2 succeed in a single one. maybe staying life as it is nw is better. single. no worries. but there will b times of loneliness 2 esp when u dun have a family tat u can lean on to support. a listening ear is no where 2 b found 2. certain things i dun wan 2 say to ppl. but there will b always one tat i wish i could share all our ups n downs 2gether. i've nt made a decision. but i tink i'm on the very edge of giving up. coz i'm afraid. wif all painful experiences .. i cannot bring myself 2 b as brave as i use 2 be. ppl may say i've a never say die attitude but i'm still fearful. really! nvrmind.. i'll make a decision soon. i will. but i'm in a dilemma. shld i hang on? if i do i really dunno wat i will become again. maybe i shld coz its better 2 be frenx. watever it is maybe its juz me being a scaredy cat. tat i admit. i am afraid.

anyone out there can help me??? i doubt so!..........

things 2 b happy about??? nahz.... nothing much lah... there's always a story behind a smile. but the story 4 me seem to b always nothing good. i'm glad 2 have my blog here to let me pour out all my probx. to my blog: thks alot man! yups really feel better now.

aniwae if anyone reading tis blog of mine n find my post full of crap n rubbish, dun hesitate to press the "X" button on the top right hand corner 2 close tis window! coz itz bout my life, its my blog n i write wat i like!