LOST

such a boring day. sianzation. stayed at home the whole day. terrible. super boring. read through abit of my c law n GBE notes. worst .. want 2 sleep more! i'm not gonna stay at home 2ml!!! gotta get out of the house!!!!!! i like sch holidays but not 2 ask me stay at home the whole bloody day. bored!! no where 2 go also. plus cannot play 2 much . coz i am really very far behind time in terms of academic work. i've not been attending lectures, sleeping in lectures, reading comics, listening 2 discman in lectures. late 4 tutorials, skipped tutorials. ok... tats really bad .. bad bad guichun! all test n examz r coming redi.... mux work harder.

worst still staying at home the whole day, will only make me wonder bout things tat i should not wonder about. thinking of things that should have been left behind n i should have moved forward wif life. but there will also b times when i will wonder y is it always liddat??? after so many many gals tat i had met n still i am single. not a single one was a "bingo" is my time not here yet? or is it i'm juz tat i'm so difficult 2 get along wif?? or am i juz so irritating?? sometimes i choose 2 believe tat i am juz disgusting rather 2 tink tat my time is not here yet. coz .. when i give myself hope. juz a little hope... i will ALWAYS b greatly affected n disappointed. i may not show but it juz hurts me deeply inside , behind tat smile on my face. if its really my fault or something liddat.. someone reading tis post , plz leave me a msg 2 guide me bah. coz i'm realli LOST!!!!!

n to her... i had really "si xin" le. i had come to realise tat u r not the type i'm looking 4. coz.. as time passes by n things i've seen n heard prove me totally wrong. disappointed really disappointed. coz i'm juz nothing 2 u. ur the 2nd person ... 2nd person 2 make me feel like a fool. or issit tat i'm a fool n fall into traps set out. i am worthless. i dun worth a single cent. tats how i feel after everything. but who to blame? myself... myself 4 falling into a pit. i dun feel sad but i'm DISAPPOINTED!

though i look 4ward ... look 4ward 4 someone tat will b mine. 4 me 2 love, 2 care, 2 share, 2 protect.... but i really dare not try again. not at the moment. i dun wan anymore... coz it always comes 2 no ending. i dun hope 4 fairy tale ... juz someone 4 me 2 rely on, 2 share my probz wif n 2 support me n b there when i need her. juz someone who is willing to lend me her shoulder 2 lean on. maybe i dun have any tats y i yearn 4.

i should put all these relationship matters aside n focus on my dream. i wan 2 make my dream come true. i'll work hard 2wards my goal.